Kratos

I can see the questions in their eyes. Every one of them looks like they’re about to burst at the seams at any moment.

What I don’t want is to have them all throwing questions at me at the same time. We’ll get nowhere like that, and while I really do want Jade to eat, I may have also used that excuse to get her out of here. She’s had enough of her past dug up and put on display these last few weeks. So if I can get this over with before she returns, that would be ideal.

I watch as the guys settle into the room. Trent leans forward, bracing his hands on the back of Zander’s chair, while Spencer walks over to lean against the desk. It doesn’t escape my notice that it so happens to be the same spot Jade just occupied, but I don’t point it out. Instead, turning my attention to Roderick, who stays exactly where he is, but I didn’t expect him to move. I’m sure he’ll be pacing soon enough.

“I grew up with everything handed to me, much like all of you did. My father was a business manager who was not only very connected, but very good at what he did. He built an empire and rose through the ranks to get everything he ever wanted.” I explain, getting right into it.

“Was?” Rick questions, never one to miss the details.

“Yes, was. He’s dead now.” I explain, “For now, if you want answers, you’ll listen. If you have questions, we can handle them after, but I’d rather get this over with.”

“Before Jade gets back?” Zander asks, and I fight the urge to snap at him. I just got done telling them to listen; of course, he does the opposite. But one look at him lets me know he didn’t ask to push buttons in typical Zander fashion. No, I can see the concern in his eyes.

I nod and see an understanding flash in his eyes as he sits up straighter, preparing himself for what he knows won't be a happy story.

It’s not. Not even a little, but where we ended up isn’t so bad now, and that's something I have to remind myself of as I drive back into shit that haunted me for years.

“When I was younger, my father worked a lot. It was often just my mother and I, but things were good, we were happy.” I shake my head slightly, remembering just how normal things were before I push forward.

“Right after my tenth birthday, my mother broke down one night. She was tucking me into bed crying, telling me how much she loved me and how sorry she was. I didn’t understand half of what she said, but I remember hugging her and telling her it was fine. I just wanted her to stop crying...” I let my words trail off.

Fuck.

I hate talking about this shit, but even as I sit here hating it, my mind wanders back to Jade, as it often does, and I know I have to keep going. I don’t want her to have to dig this shit up to explain, which means I have to do it. She seems to trust these guys, and that means they need to know.

“That was the last time I saw her. The next morning, she was gone. My father told me she left and ran off with another man like the cheap whore she was.” I try to keep my voice neutral, but it’s impossible. Anger leaks through and I know they all hear it, though I refuse to meet their eyes and see their looks of pity.

“My father hired a live-in nanny after that to take care of me, and things weren't terrible, but they were never the same. A few years went by when I started middle school, he kept the nanny and even though I didn’t need one it was better than being alone. I came home early on a half day. My father knew nothing about my schooling, not my grades, teachers or if I even bothered to go. Of course, he did not know I had a half day, but he typically wasn’t home so I didn’t think it mattered. When I walked in, I found him fucking the nanny.”

“At first, I was angry. I always hoped my mother would come back, and we’d be a family again. This destroyed that, even if it never had a chance to be real, in my head it was. But when the girl caught sight of me, she screamed and started begging me to help her. I didn’t take a genius to understand what was happening, why he’d kept her around. He was raping her. This wasn’t something she asked for, he didn’t keep her around for me, he did it for himself.”

Someone sucks in a breath and it could be any of them. I don’t look up to see, but I know how they feel on the subject. Vengeance doesn’t deal in skin and none of my guys will stand for it. I know Trent won’t either, even if he wasn’t a cop he’s too much like them, even if none of them would ever admit to it.

“I attacked him, and she was able to get away. She ran out the front door half-dressed and never looked back. He beat my fucking ass that night. I wasn’t able to go to school for over a week and could hardly move from my bed, but I would’ve done it again to save her from him. And I did. Over and over, I spent my days saving nannies, maids, and random drugged girls from bars and clubs. I saved them from him for years, and he would always turn his fists to me after. Finally, I got to the point where I was happy to take the beating. That meant I’d saved them. I wore every bruise like a badge of honor." I curl my fists on my thigh as I remember the days when I would look in the mirror, only to find my reflection was someone I didn’t recognize. I’d hated the way I looked, but I’d hated him more, hated everything he took from people around him.

“When I was fifteen, he came home angrier than I’d ever seen him before, without a girl for the first time in forever. I was making dinner for myself since our last nanny had yet to be replaced, and he attacked me in the kitchen. Back then, I was smaller, and while I could take his beatings, I wasn’t in any kind of shape to fight him off. Before that night, I’d never needed to. He would beat on me until it bored him, then leave, and that was it.”

“I don’t know what made that night different for him, but instead of getting bored, he beat my ass until I couldn’t move and then told me I would be his new bitch since I was so set on saving all of them. He told me it was a lesson on how unfair life is. A lesson on how I’d wasted all my time saving those girls, only to have nobody to save me.”

I shake my head against the wave of emotions those words bring up with the memories. If I close my eyes, I could slip back into it all so easily. I’ve done it a million times in my nightmares. Smell the cheap vodka on his breath, feel the grip of his hand around my throat as he told me nobody would save me, relive the spike of panic I felt when I realized the truth to his words.

But I don’t. Taking a deep breath I push those thoughts aside in order to keep going. This story only gets worse and I don’t have time to get lost in the fears of a teenage boy. My father doesn’t have any control over me anymore, he doesn’t have control over anything.

“He was right. Nobody came for me. For the next year, I became whatever it was he needed. If he wanted to fuck, he came to me. Wanted to beat the shit out of someone, he came to me. I’d started working out in my spare time, but I still wasn't nearly big enough to keep him away. The most I ever got was a few hits in on him, but that only made my punishments worse, not that I cared. Any hit was worth it.”

“His business was the only thing he cared about, but because he had so much money and such high connections, he was damn near untouchable. I tried to run away a few times, but the police brought me right back. I told the school what he did, and they brushed it away, but not before telling him. He beat me so badly every time I tried to get away that I thought I might die. A part of me wanted to, to just be done with it, but I was a coward. I couldn’t take his life or my own, no matter how much I wanted to, no matter how much he fucking deserved it.”

“It went on like that for a few years, and along the way, I just kind of gave up. I let him do what he wanted, stopped fighting back, stopped trying to escape, and just existed in my own personal hell. I thought at least it was only me, at least I’d save anyone else from having to live through this. I didn’t realize how wrong I was until it started again. He brought home a hooker and paid her for sex one night. He roughed her up, but I didn’t step in. She didn't seem like she needed help. She was being paid after all.”

“He wanted the fight and the feeling of power it brought him when he made others feel small. I wasn’t giving it to him anymore, purchased sex wasn’t doing it, and I would save anyone else he tried it on. So he turned to the underground and found himself right in the middle of the skin trade.”

“In the middle of the night, about a week before I turned eighteen, there was a knock at the door. I'm sure he thought I was asleep, but with a monster like him in the house, I’d learned to sleep with one eye open, and even the whispered voices of people downstairs were enough to wake me.”

“I crept from my room just enough to see what was happening. Something inside me knew. When I rounded the last turn in the hallway upstairs to peek around the wall that overlooked the stairs, I found my father standing near the door with another man I’d never seen before, and between them stood a girl.”

“She couldn’t have been more than thirteen, if that, just a fucking child, but the look in her eyes as she looked at my father. Fuck, she wasn’t the least bit afraid of him. I wasn’t sure if she was stupid or amazing, but either way, I was in awe of her.”

“She was so small and clearly didn't eat enough, but her hair was long and blonde, and all I wanted to do was scoop her up and save her from this terrible place that had been my own hell for so long. I remember thinking to myself, ‘She has no idea what kind of hell she just stepped into.’ Of course, I was wrong, but I didn’t know that then.”

“The stranger told my father he would be back in one week, and my father handed him a briefcase before he left.”

“I didn’t know till later that he was paying him. He had paid that man for one week with Jade to do whatever he liked, so long as she came back in one piece. For one week, he owned her the same way he’d owned me.”

“But when we were done with him, he never owned anyone again.” Jade’s voice pulls me from my memories, and for a moment, when I look at her, all I can see is that same small little girl. In many ways, she is still tiny and naïve, but she's not a little girl anymore, and she never was as helpless as I’d thought that day.

Everyone turns to Jade as she swings the door closed behind her. She has a few bottles of water and beer in her arms.

She ignores the looks and walks around the room, letting each person decide what they want before setting the leftovers on the desk next to Spencer. It doesn’t escape my notice that she didn’t offer him anything, but he still reaches over to snag one of the beers.

She walks up behind me, leaning her hip against the back of the chair, and dangles a water bottle in my face. I grab it and look up at her as she takes a sip of her water with a slight smile on her face.

“I know you don't eat a lot, but I’m calling bullshit on you having ordered, got food, and finishing it already,” I tell her before taking a sip of my own water.

“Dom helped me order on an app. It’ll be here in about twenty minutes. He said he’d bring it up when it gets here.” She tells me before leaning over my shoulder. “But let’s not pretend like I don’t know you well enough to know exactly what you were doing by having me get it, either. I don’t need you trying to protect me from this, Kratos. It’s all in the past, and I don’t require coddling.”

“Jade-” I start, but she cuts me off.

“Don’t you Jade me! I appreciate the thought, but don’t start this shit. We both know damn well I’m more than capable of taking care of myself.” Her words are harsh, but I know it's from determination more than anger. She doesn’t want to be taken care of, but that’s too bad.

I get to my feet and turn to face her. Even with the chair between us, most people would back up, but not Jade. Instead, she squares her shoulders and lifts her chin in an obvious act of defiance that makes me want to smile and throw her over my shoulder at the same time.

“Just because you can doesn’t mean you have to! I refuse to put you through anything more just because you can handle it.” My voice booms around the otherwise quiet room and I can feel every set of eyes on us. I ignore it all in favor of watching Jade.

She’s quiet for a moment as she stares up at me. I don’t know what she sees on my face, but she nods before her defensive posture softens just a fraction.

“Fine. But I still want to be here.” She says, crossing her arms, and I have to resist the urge to laugh. Before I saw her at the club, it’d been years since we got to meet face to face, and while she had seen me periodically over the years when she could get away, she hadn’t seen me even close to as big as I am now. Yet, she’s still not the least bit intimidated by me, not that I would want her to be. I love that I’ve never looked into her eyes and seen them shine with fear. But I also don’t think her lack of fear has anything to do with her having known me when I was still scrawny and everything to do with the fact that she was just a badass.

“Fine.” I finally give in. “But let me tell them and get this shit over with.” She smiles up at me, and I collapse back into my chair.

“Sit down, Killer, and let's put this shit to rest,” I tell her, gesturing to her desk, which she’s never even used. I assume she would want to sit in it after the interest she showed in mine when she visited my office earlier this week with Zander. I hear her move behind me, but instead of going toward the desk like I thought she would, she rounds my chair and plops herself down in my lap with a smile.

“Okay, Daddy, get it over with.” She says as she leans back into my chest and makes herself comfortable.

I can feel the guy's eyes on us, and I have to swallow down my smile because she’s just like she was when we were younger. Even after all the shit she’s been through, she’s herself no matter who’s around, and it’s so refreshing to know I didn’t fail to save that sweet girl like I thought I had for so long.

I wrap my arm around her stomach and pull her back on my lap so I can prop my ankle on my knee, giving her somewhere to sit that's a bit more comfortable.

“As I was saying.”